


Heartbreak

by ladylookslikeadude (5_secondsofsam)



Series: Heartbreak / Emptiness / Love [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken Engagement, Engagement, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2782055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5_secondsofsam/pseuds/ladylookslikeadude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick is leaving and Harry can't feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hi, hello, bonjour.  
> I got sort of a muse back and decided to hammer it out before it went away. I am not a Gryles shipper but I couldn't bring myself to write this about Larry. I would hurt myself unnecessarily. 
> 
> I don't own One Direction, Gemma Styles, or Nick Grimshaw. How does one own people? Either way I would be hella rich if I did. And I wouldn't be writing crappy fanfiction.
> 
> Since my muse is in and out comments, criticism, anything at all is welcome, welcome, welcome. And please give me kudos if you enjoy it. I'm considering turning this into a...maybe three-part series? Who knows. I'll see. Thank you!

It was funny how Harry knew that some kind of pain should be felt. He would feel every ounce of pain already and Nick hadn't even left yet. He had yet to full on cry but his eyes occasionally welled up with tears only for them to recede over and over again. The lack of tears shed didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Oh, it hurt like a bitch but he was still processing. Nick was outside but his car was still in the driveway, no sound of the engine making it's way into the room where Harry had isolated himself. There was nothing but silence surrounding Harry but on the inside, bits and pieces of the conversation that he'd just had replayed themselves in his head.

**An hour earlier**  
Harry knew something was wrong. The rest of his day had gone by just fine. He visited Gemma and they watched (and eventually cried over) The Help, Gemma occasionally babbled on about plans for Harry and Nick's wedding (and Harry continually told her not to excite herself too much because they would probably have a long, long engagement), and then they went online to listen to Nick's show (since Harry never woke up early enough to hear it unless there was something to be done).

He was content during the drive home. His eyes occasionally dropped to the engagement ring on his finger. It wasn't anything too extravagant but it was perfect for Harry - a chrome band with paneled cobalt. Shiny in the light, but not in a way that drew too much attention to it. But Harry knew his life. He knew that the ring would be seen and its meaning questioned. There would be theories and lots of them if there weren't already. It would probably be brought up in interviews, but the singer would deal with that when it came. 

The universe began to tilt when he saw Nick's car already in the garage. It wasn't that he was home too early - Harry had taken the more scenic route because he was feeling good and wanted a change of scenery. No, Nick had probably arrived home on time, but usually when Nick made it in before Harry he called to check up on him to make sure he was safe. It wasn't just something he did on occasion, it was a habit. A routine. When he parked the car the singer checked to make sure that his phone hadn't been on silent or that he didn't simply overlook the phone call. His ringtone was turned up all the way and there was no missed call notification. No text. No voice mail message. Nothing. Harry felt a total change then but he didn't allow himself to get too worked up. One phone call - or the lack thereof - was not going to make or break anything. He did his best to ignore the nagging feeling that something was wrong as he stepped out of his Range Rover and started toward the front door of the house. Nothing could possibly be wrong. They only got engaged four days prior and since then everything seemed to be more sunshine and rainbows than ever. They danced in absolute silence the night before and made love on the living room floor. Harry thought of that, willing the images back to mind to lighten himself up as he opened the door, but when he found boxes of Nick's clothes and other belongings in the entrance all of that was gone.

He heard Nick's footsteps making their way toward him and he saw the older male before him moments later. Nick froze in place holding another box and Harry took a moment before he spoke.

"You didn't call... is everything okay?" His voice was full of uncertainty and his words as slow as usual but his voice cracked mid-sentence but Nick's response came before he even finished drawing out his "y".

"I'm leaving you, Harry." And just like that, a black hole replaced where Harry's heart used to be. There were no visible signs of pain on the outside. Actually, it was the opposite. Harry's face was void of all emotion all though all he wanted to do was to cry. He wanted the world to fall apart, but come back together at the same time. He wanted Nick to smile and say he was joking. He wanted him to say that he was donating his wardrobe to the poor for Christmas and that they would go shopping for new clothes later. That wasn't what came when Nick started talking again. "I just haven't felt the interest that I used to. I tried everything and I was hoping that the proposal would change things around again but it didn't and I'm sorry."

There were a few moments of silence and Harry stared blankly at Nick, a dark cloud seeming to fill him up on the inside. "Okay. That's fine." But it wasn't. Harry couldn't muster up any emotion at all even though he wanted to scream. He wanted to cry and cling to Nick. He wanted to show Nick that he could love him again. He wanted to claw viciously at his chest in an attempt to rip his heart from his rib cage. The most he managed was a blink and a sniffle.

"Okay?" Now it was Nick's turn to be confused. Uncertain. It was obvious in his tone and written all over his facial expression.

The singer simply nodded. "Okay. If you aren't happy I can't make you stay. I can't force you to be happy with me. It happens and it's human to feel that. Okay."The look of confusion on the radio host's face was obvious, but he just continued to carry the box in his hands over to the rest in front of the door. Harry was emotionally numb as he finally found it within himself to move away from the entrance to the living room. He sat down on the couch, unable to do much of anything but listen to the sounds of Nick packing all of his things.

**Two hours later**  
"Alright. I'm ready to go." Nick was standing in the doorway, his eyes on Harry who hadn't moved in hours. There was still no emotion as Harry simply nodded his head and hummed.

"Travel safe," was his only verbal response but that didn't seem to be enough for the older man who walked into the room and stood directly in front of the singer.

"Do you not love me? Do you not care that I'm leaving?" The look on the older male's face was a mixture of confusion and disbelief and Harry suddenly went from being totally emotionless to boiling with rage. He stood, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as his eyes focused on Nick like a target.

"Do I not love you? Is that what you want to know? Are you asking because I'm not crying and begging you to stay? Is that what you want? Are you doing this because you want to hurt me?" His usual slow manner of speech was more menacing than careful now and although he didn't raise his voice there was a change in his tone that seemed to scare the other man.

"N-no. But -" 

"Then why are you still here? If you're leaving then leave and stay gone. Stop waiting to see me breakdown because if it does happen then it surely won't be while you're still here waiting for it. Get out." Harry clenched his jaw, his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes narrowed. Nick seemed to be frozen in place with his eyes open wide in surprise. Harry pulled the engagement ring off of his finger and threw it in Nick's face. The ring that he had been admiring what seemed like forever ago but was only a few hours. The ring that no longer held any meaning.

"I-I'm so sorry. I -" 

"Get out."

There were a few moments of silence before Nick nodded, picked the ring up off of the floor, and started to walk away. He stopped and looked back as if he was going to say something else, but then thought better of it and walked out. As soon as he was absent Harry exhaled a long breath that he didn't know he was holding and sunk back down on the couch. He sat still and let his eyes fall closed as he listened to the sound of the front door closing, Nick's car starting, and the sound of him driving away. 

That was when his heart broke. That was when he curled up in a ball on the couch, his legs pulled up to his chest and his body falling over in a curled up bundle in the corner of the couch, his arms around his legs and tears pouring from his eyes. He screamed and tried to hug himself tighter as if he was trying to make himself so small that he would no longer exist. Eventually the occasional moans of agony and sobbing died down until they were just hiccups and his body shook a little. His face was wet with tears and so was part of his hair where he was laying down, the strands sticking to his face. He didn't care. He was so wrapped up in it all that he hadn't heard the sound of his front door opening and he didn't notice Gemma's arrival until he felt a hand touch his back and opened his eyes to see her.

"He called me, love." That was all that was said. No more words were spoken as Harry turned to rest his head in her lap, his eyes closing and her fingers combing through his long strands of hair, pulling the ones that clung to his skin. She used the sleeve of her sweater to dry his face and eventually the hiccups stopped, his breathing slowing until he drifted off to sleep.


End file.
